The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It's blow job season.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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