At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just gargled with NyQuil
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
