me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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