Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
