direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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