Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
