Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
