im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
