I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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