Will you blow on my dice?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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