Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
