finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
