ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
