i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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