my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
