A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
