I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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