We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
