Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
