went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
