i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
