Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
