I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
