Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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