How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
