dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
