So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
