i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
COCAINE IS GR8
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
