You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
