drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
