Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She even gives head with a lisp.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
