did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize