I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I need moral support for this bender
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
