She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
