last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
