i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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