Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
