did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
