dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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