we have officially lost it.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I need a beard to bite.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
