Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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