too bad you live with your parents still
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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