i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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