I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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