Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
