it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
