My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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