Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
