The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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