Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
